A Seat at the Table part 2: Have something to say 

In this installment of his exclusive series, Tim Wenzel, CPP, Co-Founder and President of The Kindness Games, discusses how to build a foundation of credibility within security leadership.

Do you have a message?

There’s a saying in the music industry: There are millions of great singers who never become stars. Why? They don’t have anything to say…

You can have a beautiful voice, be an eloquent speaker, have the “perfect” mannerisms, but if you can only recite what you’ve heard or learned from others, you have no substance…

The depth of a person is sorted out in short order at The Table.

Reflect upon your integrity

Integrity: noun

1. Adherence to moral and ethical principles; soundness of moral character; honesty
2. The state of being whole, entire or undiminished: to preserve the integrity of the empire
3. A sound, unimpaired or perfect condition: the integrity of a ship’s hull

When we hear the word “integrity”, we always assume honesty, yet two out of three definitions point to wholeness.

At The Table, we need clarity on our condition and our blindspots.

We need an honest evaluation of our strengths and our weaknesses.

We need to know when: 

• We are the subject matter expert, in need of no assistance and able to translate a topic at all levels, to all audiences
• We are an authority and can speak broadly on a topic but need a specialist from time to time to drill down on the mechanics
• We are competent to speak generally on a topic but do not have the expertise for discussion as a primary topic
• We do not have the background or ability to speak on a topic and should get assistance if it is important

The fastest way to lose credibility at The Table is to wander outside your authority into speculation, without admitting it.

It’s tempting to want to appear to be the final authority, but we must resist the urge.

In the moment, as a conversation wanders outside of your expertise, it is preferable to be honest and let everyone know you are beginning to recite information gleaned from others and speculating on its application to this conversation, but you’d be happy to bring an expert into the conversation if needed.

Everyone has weaknesses in their hull, gaps in their knowledge and understanding.

Own it and gather the right people around you to bolster your integrity.

What would you do with your seat at The Table?

We have a vision of ourselves, slightly reclined in our chair, right arm draped across the back of the chair next to us.

We listen, understand and chime into the conversation with insights that inspire reflection.

Our reality is often different.

The objective of being supremely fluent and ready to interact at each level of conversation is often unrealistic unless you reside at this level in an organization for a long time.

What should your goal be?

To understand this, you need to understand who you are within the context you’re in.

You may exist as an authority in more than one context. I do. I am both a leadership and security “expert”.

Use this thought exercise to more precisely understand who you are within your contexts.

1. I am an influential leader in Leadership, Team Development, Culture Development and Organizational Design
   1. With a primary expertise in security environments
   2. With an industry leading vision in
      1. Leading with kindness
      2. Creating joyful environments
      3. Fostering creativity in teams

2. I am an executive level security consultant
   1. With a primary expertise in ESRM, Organizational Design and Leadership
   2. With industry leading vision in
      1. Governance
      2. Risk management methodology and frameworks
      3. Protective strategy
      4. Insider risk
      5. Proprietary information risk management

There is some obvious overlap but based on the context you are in, there are expectations of how you will contribute… what you have to say.

What do I have to say?

Having something to say is great!

Having the foundation of credibility to say it with authority is just as important.

1. Where do my bona fides come from?

I do not have an impressive educational pedigree.

My background comes from past experiences and the actual body of work I’ve created and participated in, across varying industries, environments and contexts.

I need to be careful not to stray from this path.

Under pressure, it’s tempting to parrot something I’ve heard or read when trying to influence or gain the respect of someone who has bona fides I do not.

This type of insecurity is a trap which can cause you to lose credibility.

2. How has my reputation been earned?

This is very important to understand and precisely define as it will be called into question as stakeholders weigh the value of your perspective.

For me, the strength of my experiences is undeniable:

• I can speak to the inner workings of events that most have watched on the news and read about in media

• Another strengthening factor is the caliber of industry leaders I’ve worked alongside or for. These become impeccable references

• As an international public speaker who engages audiences across industries, I have the opportunity to learn more deeply about my ideas through engagement with the experiences and perspectives of others. In essence, by working to understand the experiences of others in light of my own and using them to examine the integrity of my ideas – I gain their experiences as well, making mine more well rounded and whole

• Lastly, I’ve been fortunate to gain industry recognition and awards which can bolster reputation with some people

3. What sets me apart from others in my areas of expertise?

To everyone who embraces the zero sum life philosophy… this is where you fall flat with everyone who doesn’t think like you.

If you read the question above and thought: Me against them… you lose.

Because when you feel like you have to beat out everyone else’s ideas and messages, you have to make up reasons why you’re better… This becomes an integrity problem.

If you read the question and think: Me and… or We, you’re in good company.

When you think in terms of We, you don’t have to win.

Others can still have good ideas or valid messages and they can all have a place.

You can begin to articulate where and why you generally differ, but if a champion of another’s idea is at The Table, and you demonstrate you understand it, you can operate within another’s context if asked to.

At The Table, it can’t always be your way. Having the mental agility, humility and network to adapt will increase your influence.

4. How should I use this to lead?

While you may not be able to add to each conversation with fluency, using this thought progression, you can understand where you may fit into these conversations should you be pulled in.

I like to ask myself, what will be perceived as relevant in this moment, in this context? 

There are times when you want to blow people’s minds and inspire them to a higher ideal… In some situations, that’s just weird or disruptive, or irrelevant.

Let’s get past the fantasy of yourself at The Table and really understand the needs of the current environment and situation.

Having something to say doesn’t mean you always have to say it.

Sometimes it’s better to ask questions, understand more fully, set expectations, gather resources and come back… more whole. More relevant. 

So, what do you have to say? To whom? When?

Find the full A Seat at the Table series here. Keep an eye out for the next installment, coming soon!